In the Lord’s Prayer, we pray that God will forgive us as we forgive those who wrong us.

It is vitally important for our own spiritual well-being that we forgive other people who wrong us. We cannot be free if we live in bondage to anger, feelings of retribution, bitterness, etc. That does not mean that we cannot change our course or take other action so as to not experience the same issues again (that would be insanity if talking about serious wrongs).

As an example, if someone reacts in an over-the-top critical way to me for some minor accident, I need to forgive them and extend God’s grace - not holding it against them, but letting it go. Not bringing it up again, and not viewing that person as “the one responded overly critical and harsh to me”. But in forgiveness, I view that person as someone who is human whom God loves and has forgiven. As I let that person’s identity not be tied to the rash action, but instead drop that from how I perceive them, I free myself from my own spirit of condemnation. (Again, should this be a pattern of behavior for this person, I would seriously consider distancing myself from this individual - forgiveness means I let go of the emotional state of being the victim - but does not require me to stay in a victimizing or toxic relationship).

And while it is important to work through those feelings and wrongs inflicted by others, it strikes me that we may neglect to forgive ourselves. Just as we need to extend God’s mercy and grace into these situations of conflict and pain that other people have brought into our lives, so too we need to also be gentile with ourselves.

If I’m the one reacting harshly and rashly, after apologizing to the other person, I also need to forgive myself. I need to attempt to banish that behavior, certainly, but I also need to permit myself the grace to move forward and not view myself as defined by the bad things I’ve done. Grace gives us that freedom to let go emotionally from the shame and pain we cause ourselves when we hurt others. We can be free from viewing ourselves as “the one who hurt that person yesterday” and instead be “the one grateful for God’s love and forgiveness.”

Maybe the daily bread we need today is God’s forgiveness as well as our own. To not intentionally forgive ourselves is arguably a sin. Let God’s grace wash over the past and claim your identity as a child of the Most High God whose actions demonstrated such a deep, abiding love for us that invites us into the freedom and life afforded by forgiveness, mercy, and grace. Let go of how you have harmed others in years past, forgiving yourself, and embrace the present and future of walking in newness of a life lived in Christ.