Now accept one who is weak in faith, but not for disputes over opinions. One man has faith to eat all things, but he who is weak eats only vegetables. Don’t let him who eats despise him who doesn’t eat. Don’t let him who doesn’t eat judge him who eats, for God has accepted him. Who are you who judge another’s servant? To his own lord he stands or falls. Yes, he will be made to stand, for God has power to make him stand. (Rom 14:1-4, WEBBE) [1].

“Do not judge” gets thrown around a lot… as does a rebuke to that that says “judge for yourselves…” and a few other retorts.

But here’s the thing… in this passage, it is saying to not judge those who believe they are behaving according to God’s will for them - not for things like torture and murder and such - but for positions and actions that the person believes they are doing (or not doing) because they understand this to be for them God’s direction.

For those of us who are attracted to the same gender: if you believe God has created you this way, then you should reject the criticism of those who would slander and malign God’s creative work in your life. If you believe that God desires that you get married to someone of the same gender, and God has directed you to this person, then you had better be obedient to God and marry the person.

Therefore let’s not judge one another any more, but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block in his brother’s way, or an occasion for falling. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean of itself; except that to him who considers anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean (Rom 14:13-14, WEBBE) [1].

If someone is telling you that you should not be gay or get married to someone else in order to come to church or be acceptable somehow to God or others, you know they are not following this directive. Do not put a barrier between others and God. Nothing, not even gay sex, is “unclean of itself.” We’re obviously talking about Jewish ritual uncleanliness or spiritual uncleanliness (aka “a sin”). So, there is nothing inherently bad about an activity that does not cause harm to anyone and is consensual. For those who believe that same-gender sexual activity is wrong, those people should not practice same-gender sexual activity themselves.

Yet if because of food your brother is grieved, you walk no longer in love. Don’t destroy with your food him for whom Christ died. 16 Then don’t let your good be slandered, for God’s Kingdom is not eating and drinking, but righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit (Rom 14:15-17, WEBBE) [1].

Here’s where things need a little analysis before we just jump into a conclusion. First, Paul isn’t talking specifically about something that God has instructed someone to do, and then telling them they they should not do it just because it offends someone else. That is not what is being communicated here. So, if eating fast-food offends someone’s spiritual sensibilities, then you could avoid eating fast-food in front of them. BUT if God is calling you to commit your life to another person in marriage, and you cite this passage to say… nah… I might offend my weaker brother… then you elevate your weaker brother over God. That isn’t what is being taught here. God probably isn’t calling you to eat pork in front of someone who thinks that is offensive, so don’t make use of your freedom when it will cause a problem for others. But marry whoever God directs you to marry.

[1] The World English Bible (WEB) and the World English Bible British Edition (WEBBE) are modern translations without copyright constraint. https://ebible.org/web/webfaq.htm